There aren’t many things in my life I wanted more than a happy family, children, a loving relationship with their father and a beautiful home for us all to enjoy. My very biggest fear in life was to have a child or children and then to split up with the father.
Sadly in the early summer of 2014, that’s exactly what happened. They say you get what you focus on and I’d spent a long time worrying about the relationship with my son’s father collapsing. I’d been focusing on it.
It was the very worst thing I could imagine and it happened. It took a long time to over come it but I had the very best reason to keep moving forward, a beautiful son who I wanted to have everything, every opportunity and experience he desired. When your at the bottom, the only way out is up and the only way there is one step at a time. So I just kept moving forward, one step at a time out of the darkness and grief.
In June 2015, I was made redundant from my job and I knew this was the biggest opportunity of my life so I set to work. I grabbed my business with both hands and began building something that would fulfil the desires of both my son and I. I remain determined to build us the life of our dreams and keep moving forward.
I have had to learn great patience coupled with this determination. Being a lone parent gives very little respite from your child’s demands and this is a big test for any parent, more so when you have no other parent for support. Family and friends are a valuable resource and help where they can. Patience when your child says “Mummy mummy mummy” for what feels like the trillionth time that day, patience when they want cuddles and you feel compelled to “just send this email” and patience when you want to do anything in the bathroom alone.
The other lesson I’ve been taught in the past 2 years has been Self care. If I don’t make time for myself I am not a good mother and my business suffers because I lack focus and discipline. Making time for running, a long shower or a night with friends is important to keep your batteries operating on full, and so is sleep. Sometimes a nap is the answer to life’s problems. And sometimes it’s a gin and tonic. The wiser woman knows which one will help most at which moment.
Patience to build your business to be stable, determination to fulfil your deepest dreams and desires and Self-Care to make sure you are fully functioning and focused on those desires. Who knew being a lone parent could teach so much! My son remains my biggest teacher.